Special is a perspective

As children, my siblings and I separated our clothes into what we called ‘outing’ and ‘house’ clothes. It made sense then because, as children, we played in mud, in the rain and in dust. So it was important that when we needed to go to church or to go visit Uncle X or Aunty Y we had clean, nice clothes to wear.

Until very recently I continued dividing my clothes up into outing and house clothes even though I didn’t play in mud anymore. What I was also doing, at least at a subconscious level, as I divided my clothes, was dividing my life into special moments and plain/dull/ugly moments. The special outing clothes to be won for special moments (weddings, church, graduations, visiting friends, work etc.) and the plain clothes for plain moments and so on and so forth.

Now, consider this. In twenty-four years I have only graduated twice, I have attended about 3 weddings, I do not have a 'job', I very rarely visit people and as for church... Doesn’t this imply, according to my way of partitioning my life into special and ordinary moments, that my life was basically made up of a series of mundane, day to day activities punctuated every once in a blue moon by special events? But what if the moon refused to turn blue? Wouldn’t it mean that all that is left, after my so called special occasions have passed on, is boring or dull?

I don’t want a dull life, I have never imagined such a life for myself and so in a desperate attempt to avoid dullness, I began to seek out ways to make my life more fun, productive, and exciting etc. in other words, how to make my life special. So far, I have learned that many of my limitations exist only in my head. After all, those clothes, both those considered special and otherwise, were mine. No one asked me not to wear my special clothes to do not so special things things. I have also discovered  many of such limiting divides in other aspects of my life and that they really are of no value to me.

As I grow older and as my confidence grows, I am learning, albeit slowly, that I have the power to make everything special because I can and should always define special for myself. Now, everything I do, everywhere I go, everything I say matters; from what direction I want my life to take right down to what to wear to go buy bread, because special is not an object, a person, an occasion, a lifestyle, a job or any other things I had put on a pedestal, special is a perspective.

It is becoming easier and easier for me to do what I really want to do, but I would be lying if I said it was not hard work to unlearn all the counterintuitive perspectives I have internalized over the years. Even when I feel like I have outgrown some unhealthy mentality, I randomly encounter another. It was this morning, as I stood looking at my stunning reflection in the mirror, that I stumbled across the outing and house clothes divide. It had just dawned on me that I was all dolled up to go to the coffee shop that is literally 5 minutes away from my house. I also noticed that some of the clothes I had dismissed as plain were actually gorgeous I just had to wear, them differently, in my own way.

I guess what I am trying to say to you is that this is the only life you are certain to have. You might spend most of your life on red carpets or you may not, you may get your dream job or dream wife or you may not, but whatever happens you are the one with the ability to make your life the extraordinary spectacle you want it to be, whether it happens how you planned it or not. Redefine everything for yourself, reimagine yourself, your things and your values and watch your life transform for the better.